New Beginnings

August 7, 2012

Please join me as I travel (August 10^th ) to Costa Rica where my grandson, Sebastian Miguel’s arrival is eagerly awaited by his parents, Page (my daughter) and Chandy.  This little stranger will be a welcome diversion for me and a rebirth of life back into our family after the loss of my husband, Michael, April 15, 2012.  Michael had the opportunity to get to know Sebastian by his ultra sound done the beginning of April, during our stay, in Costa Rica.  He was there when we all discovered that the baby Page was carrying would be a boy.  This is a very momentous development on many levels.  Firstly, in the little town where Page now lives, Playa Guiones, Costa Rica, there are four other pregnant women all due within weeks of each other.  All the other women are carrying girls.  Secondly, Page’s partner, Chandy (Jose Alexander) has two children from a previous marriage and they are both girls, ages 15 and 8.  With the loss of Michael, it is as if this new male heir will provide a possibility of rebirth for Michael and the whole family so touched by his loss. 

Page is officially due to give birth on August 22.  She is planning to have a home birth near San Jose, Costa Rica with two Midwives, Chandy, and friend Shelley and me to cheer her on.  There will be a backup gynecologist who will be available, as needed, in a hospital just twenty minutes away.  My role as grandmother will be to support Page through the waiting period leading up to going into labor.  Then act as videographer during the delivery.  

Even though I am a capable family Nurse Practitioner, to quote a famous woman from Gone with the Wind, “I don’t know noth’n ‘bout birth’n no babies.”   The fact that I have had two of my own and watched several births in training doesn’t make me able to deliver a baby.  However, I will be able to fully evaluate my new grandson to make sure he has all his parts in the right places.   I will be able to support Page and Chandy where needed and help them focus during the laboring and postpartum period. 

This will be an exciting event.  It is one I would never ever have expected.   I had come to grips with the fact that my daughter was not going to leap into motherhood.   This time last year Page told me to never expect her to produce a grandchild for me.  “I love my independence mom.  I can surf when I want to and I am too busy with a new business in Costa Rica to ever become a mother.  I like having dogs and other people’s kids, not my own.”  Then love intervened on my behalf and hers.

This has been a crazy roller coaster of a year of love and loss.  I am enjoying what little warmth summer brings to Manhattan Beach this time of year.  While the rest of the country has been cooking since June, we have barely had a warm day.  However, August has been transformed from grey, overcast days into blue skies and sun.  I have been busy tying up all the last minute problems that come with the loss of a spouse.  Additionally, I have been packing for the possibility of a three month stay in Costa Rica.  And with that comes shopping for all the things a baby would need that can’t be purchased in their remote village.

Page is doing very well.  I don't know if you ever go on Facebook but there are cute pictures of her there with a very large abdomen full of promise and a squirming baby boy.  I think that my once, reluctant mother to be, will embrace this motherhood thing far more completely than I ever expected.  She takes on responsibility with determination and excitement.  Now that she has time to rest from the rigors of starting a new business, she is reading and nesting in preparation for the prospect of this new life.   I can't wait to see her give birth and be transformed from an independent girl, surfer, and business owner into a woman who melts at the sight and smell of her infant son.  I am blessed beyond belief with this unexpected event.   I leave Friday and will start this blog so that everyone can follow along with me on this journey.

As reflect back on the recent chapters of my life I am challenged by the realization that we are not immortal.  We all come into life with an expiration date.   Then, if we are lucky, we get one chance to fully live.  Please enjoy every moment of each day.  Take nothing or no one for granted.  Love and be loved.  Dance and fill your heart and the space around you with laugher.